Means of Expression

My name is Isiah Daniels, and as far back as I can remember life has always been hard and difficult for me.
  My childhood was nothing to be desired. My three siblings and I was raised in an environment that involved alcohol, fighting, and anti-social behaviors and because of it my siblings and I were taken from our mother and given to our alcoholic grand parents. I struggled with self esteem because of the abuse.
I struggled socially because of my shame.
   Emotionally I did the best that I could trying to hide what I really felt about my life, my grand parents ( who we were forced to call mom & dad), and my siblings and myself In which I failed miserably. So, before the age of 13 I made a feeble attempted to commit suicide ( actually it was no more than a cry for help, but I failed at that too.) By the age of 13 ā€œIā€ left them all for good but carried the anger, hate and shame with me. I knew of no way to relieve the pressure so I took a deep breath in life and I held it and held it.
    Anger and hurt became my friends and my  enemy.  That was the only means of expression I knew. During some of those lonely days or nights I would pick up a pencil and paper and doodle. As time went by those emotions became the pieces of Art I portray today.
   During the darkest years of my life I found a way to express what I feel inside. It was my way of self expression, it was my way of releasing that breath that I took so many years ago.